He’s a drunkard, but I still love him

Dear Bunmi,

Five years ago, my husband lost his job and his drinking spiralled out of control. He’s always been a heavy drinker but now he starts as early as 11 :OOam and carries on all day and into the night. I’ve been asking him to cut down for years, but things came to a head when I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis six months ago. He continued to drink and I was forced to leave and relocate to my family’s house with the children. I know I’m better off without him, but I still love him and I want him in my life. He feels the same way about me. Is there any way we can make our marriage work?

Dorothy, by e-mail.

 Dear Dorothy,

It is possible for a marriage to survive alcoholism, but it will take a lot of hard work. It is not enough for your husband just to make promises – he has to admit he has a problem and seek professional help – on top of which he needs to either look for a job or learn a trade that would enable him care for his family.

You can support him from a distance. Multiple sclerosis is a degenerative disease and you need the support of loved ones around you. Don’t go back to him until he can show you he means what he says.

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